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Leaving Myself Open

I still can’t believe I am finding myself sitting here all alone again. At times it’s as if our ten years together never really happened.

I still miss you every day. But most of all I miss what we were together. For years I fought the need to be a part of a couple. But the day you came along it was as if I had been waiting for you the whole time. The one who got used to doing it all alone was now the other half of a whole. We did everything together. To others it was probably sickening but for us it felt right. It felt like coming home.

I am alone now. My other half has gone on before me. In the beginning I wasn’t sure I would even survive. My appendage was gone. How could I go on?

Somehow I’ve made it. I went through all the first without you. And much more. I now know I can stand up on my own two feet. I am whole again. I am who I was before I met you. Maybe not quite.

But I am ready now. I’m ready to move on to another chapter in my life. A chapter that includes having someone in my life to love & who loves me. Not because it’s what I need. It’s what I want.

When I met you I was scared. And after you left I was scared again. But now I know what I want. You taught me what it was like to feel loved. To feel loved and needed. I like that feeling. I will settle for nothing less. So instead of fighting it I am going to leave myself open. Not for just anyone but for the one that He and you have picked out for me. You both know more than anyone what and who is right for me.

So I will continue living my life and leaving myself open for the one you send my way. But know in my heart of hearts I will always love you and miss you.

Till We Meet Again.

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